Emmy

I think I'm in love with Emmy.

There. I said it. And at the same time, I can't believe it. How can I, I who thought I loved a tall, strong Christian boy from Colorado, have seen so much in and fallen so hard for a petite pregnant Wiccan girl from rural Georgia? And how can it have happened so fast? I thought if I were to fall in love with anyone this year, it would be a boy from our brother school, but I doubted even that. I certainly didn't think I was going to fall for a girl. I mean, until I went to the school in England, I believed that being gay was a sin. And what the hell are my parents going to think? And what will Jack and Beth say? All of them still believe that being gay is a sin, and by their definition, I'm now a sinner. And what about everyone else? I mean, Emmy's pregnant! How do I hide this from her?

I am glad, though, that I'm not alone. I talked to Kallie about it yesterday, and she told me that she's gay, which was very cool for me to know. And I guess it makes me respect her all the more, because now I know how she feels.

I hate that life isn't simple. If life was simple, I wouldn't have fallen for Emmy, and she wouldn't be pregnant. My parents wouldn't be such idiots, and they'd spend more time with me. I wouldn't have inherited my father's genetic disposition to divination, and I wouldn't have even gone into that church for the first time. It isn't going to be, but I so wish it was easy.